Dump your chaos. Extract your skills. Get micro-gigs, a real resume, and a redemption plan.



Dump your raw, unfiltered thoughts. The SAE engine roasts you, extracts your skills, and ghost-writes your resume.
START THE INTAKE
Low-stress micro-gigs paying $15-30. Instant payout. Zero interviews. Zero friction. Build momentum one gig at a time.
BROWSE GIGS
Real covenant escrow on Kaspa. Employers lock KAS on-chain per gig, an AI agent checks the work, funds release automatically.
ENTER THE MARKET
Clay animations by the community. Post your own and earn KAS tips from fellow slobs who love your work.
WATCH & TIP
Live-track the biggest Kaspa holder — balance, movements, and instant 7/30-day fact-checked flow reports to keep you motivated.
WATCH THE WHALE
Track any website URL like a mini SEMrush — SEO score, page health, estimated traffic, keywords and competitors. All in plain English.
TRACK A WEBSITE
Paste any Kaspa transaction ID and get a plain-English story of what happened — who paid whom, how much, and when. No jargon.
TRACK A TRANSACTION
The Sloba Card: instant payouts, behavioral guardrails, and an auto-saving Get Out Bucket for your independence fund.
SEE THE CARD

GET A JOB IF YOU'RE A SLOB.
Radical candor. Zero corporate jargon. Built for ADHD brains.